A Different Kind of Hunt
by vampirekittyLP
Summary: Dean and Cas go out on a hunt, but not for monsters.. For food. Along the way they have to fight off a few excitable women and Dean's impending grouchiness.


**Dedicated to my best friend.**

**Enjoy guys and let me know what you think :)**

**p.s. i don't own supernatural D:**

"Why do they have those weird names Dean?"

"They just do, Cas." Dean replied, eyes glued to the screen.

They were sat on the motel room sofa, watching Dr. Sexy on the tiny TV set. Dean wasn't even ashamed to be a fan anymore, in fact he flaunted it now, much to Sam and Castiel's dismay.

Sam snorted from behind them. "Oh please. McSteamy? How friggin' corny can you get."

"HEY! You watch your mouth."

"Dean, what would my doctor name be?" Castiel inquired candidly.

Dean paused, and glanced sideways. He had to stifle a laugh after seeing Cas's dead serious expression.

"McWings." He replied, soberly.

"I don't want to be a McDonalds food." Castiel frowned.

"Don't pout Cas. Pouting is for bitches."

Sam piped up from behind his laptop in his geeky little corner. "Dean, why'd you have to teach him all these bad words? He's an angel. It's totally unnecessary."

"You're right, I think the pizza man already taught him all there was to know."

Sam rolled his eyes and carried on with research. Dean sighed.

"Jeez, all this food talk is making me hungry! Sam, go get us some burgers will ya." He yelled over his shoulder in the general direction of Sam.

"Dean, I've told you they're totally bad for your health! You're going to have a heart attack." Sam scolded.

"Oh come on Sam, we hunt monsters. Pretty sure death by burger is the least of our problems. And if I was gonna have a heart attack I would have had it by now from seeing your naked butt in the morning. I keep telling you to sleep with some damn pants on."

Sam avoided Castiel's curious gaze and blushed furiously. "Whatever, Dean. Just go get your own food."

"Bitch." Dean mumbled under his breath, getting up to grab his coat.

"Jerk." Sam responded from the laptop, without looking up.

"Let's go, Cas." Dean yelled, dragging Cas out the door with him. "I need a wingman. Haha, get it?"

They walked into a McDonald's, and stood at the counter where a big bouncy blonde girl was waiting to serve them. As soon as she saw Dean her eyes lit up like he was food, and he didn't get a chance to speak.

"Awh, well look at you!" She squealed, making him wince. "With those gorgeous cheekbones and pretty green eyes.. oh and cute little freckles!" she added in awe as she leaned slightly forward.

Dean automatically moved back a few millimetres, trying to regain his personal space.

"You do know freckles are angel kisses right? And you are just covered in them!" She beamed at him.

Dean froze, and tried to avoid Cas's eyes, but snuck a glance anyway. Cas was staring at him aghast, with a look that said "I DID NOT."

Normally, Dean would probably wink at the girl, flash a smile and get some free food out of the situation, but the awkwardness of Castiel being there was just too much for Dean, so he spun around and left. She called out loudly after him, "Wait, can't we get to know each other over some fries?"

"Oh, I think you've had enough." He grumbled bitterly to himself as he stomped his way through the queue of people. Cas eventually caught up with Dean after his little scene, and asked him what they were going to do now.

"We'll find somewhere else." He snapped.

They walked further down the street past a row of shops in a tense silence, and as they passed a bar, a forty-something year old woman with too much make up came out and suddenly lunged on Cas. "Well, hellooooo youuu!" She slurred. She grabbed his trench coat with one hand and dragged the other hand through his hair, pulling him close. Castiel was rooted to the spot like a tree, not doing anything. Dean was unsure too - monsters were easy enough but you just couldn't stab a drunk cougar in the middle of the street - so it wasn't until she tried to take off Cas's tie that Dean decided he needed to intervene.

"Hey lady. I think you dropped twenty bucks." He said, gesturing to the pavement behind her.

"Huh? Where?" she turned, and got down on her hands and knees looking for money that clearly wasn't there.

Dean grabbed Castiel's arm and swiftly marched them both around the corner and out of sight of any deranged women. Once they'd reached safety Dean said irritably, "What is it with you today Cas? Put your damn angel strut away." Dean was angry. Not with Cas, but Cas was just there.

Castiel looked bewildered.

"Actually Dean, I believe earlier it was you who-"

"Don't start with me Cas, or I am gonna pluck your feathers and serve you up like a chicken."

Silence.

"Dean, I'm onl-"

"For dinner."

"I-"

"..Tonight."

"Just let m-"

"..For me and Sam."

"Dean-"

"..Not that you'll make a great meal, you're too damn scrawny."

"Dean." Cas said quietly after a sizeable silence.

"What, Cas." Dean replied categorically.

"Would you like a hug?" Cas said softly, and with such an earnest expression that Dean's grouchiness melted away.

"Cas, have you been watching Oprah?"

"No I cou- Well yo- Sam made me." He stammered, wide eyed and Dean was glad he at least had the sense to look ashamed. He had taught him well.

"Right. Well, No thanks, Dr. Phil. I just need some damn food. Let's just find some and get back to the motel."

Luckily for them they found a little diner at the next corner, and Dean made sure to order from the dude at the counter then to risk any waitresses harassing him. "Hey man, you don't know how nice it is to see a dude right now." He grinned at the server.

"Urhm.. I'm sorry, I don't swing that way." The server replied awkwardly, adjusting his collar.

"Oh- no- I didn't mean.. Ah forget it." Dean gave up on being socially appropriate. It was too hard on an empty stomach. He gestured to Castiel and himself. "Two of your biggest burgers." Then he caught a glance of Castiel's still-dishevelled hair. "You know what, make that two each."

Food in arms, they found their way back to the car and drove home in relative peace, due to mouths being full of burgers. Once they got back to the motel, Dean was in a noticeably better mood then he had been half an hour ago. He burst into the room, and hollered over at Sam.

"So guess what dude, both me _and_ Cas got hit on today. Pretty awesome right?"

Sam rolled his eyes in exasperation, voice thick with sarcasm, "Well I'm glad you achieved _something _today, Dean."

"Don't be jealous, man. You are what you eat, and we-" He paused to take a huge bit out of his burger, then spoke with a full mouth. "-are _delicious._"

Dean woke up in middle of the night and in the dim lighting saw the outline of face a few centimetres from his. He flipped over so fast reaching for the gun under his pillow that he misjudged his position on the bed and flipped right over the edge, onto the floor with a yelp.

Sam stirred, mumbled "Shut up Dean, I'm trying to read this toilet roll." And carried on snoring.

Dean shot up into a sitting position and looked across the bed, seeing Cas squatted on the other side with a mild smile on his face.

"What the hell are you doing here Cas? It's freakin' 3am!" He hissed.

"Dean, I am counting your angel kisses. Perhaps there is some sort of revelation behind them.. I need to know what they mean."

Dean got up off the floor tenderly and brushed himself off.

"Cas, you get creepy Edward on me again and I'm gonna show you what a couple of bruises mean."

Cas bowed his head sombrely, and nodded. Then he was gone. Dean got back into bed, trying to calm his pumping heart so he could get some sleep, muttering to himself. "Burgers are fine. Angels are what are gonna give me a damn heart attack."

Sam spoke up again in his sleep. "Dean put down the knife I never ate your pie."

Jeez.


End file.
